New Year, New Gratitude

They are not really new

Just to be true

They are common gratitude

I had from last year

My cute dog Velvet

Is still here to give joy

She does not have to do anything

Like play tricks with her toy

Just laying down comfy

With toys that are fluffy

As she's looking so comfy

She is kinda funny

I am thankful for Fitbit

It inspires me, I admit it

I may not push as hard to get fit

If I am without it

It's a constant reminder

I have on my wrist

I am thankful for my bike

With a Kindle holder

I can read as I pedal

And stay in when it's colder

I am thankful for candles

I used with my prayers

I found that they make

The experience a little deeper

There is something about flames

That calms my brain

It eases some pain

And lesses some strain

I am thankful for abundance of food

Paul and I don't gamble

But we splurge on food

We like to sample

It's a simple pleasure to try different dishes

Japanese, Mexican, Chinese

Cooked and prepared by others

(No need to wash the dishes)

Oh there is something new I am thankful for

It's this cool eye pillow

I bought from FSA store

It relieves my eyes that are sore

And reduces puffiness

I use it sometimes

It feels good, also,  on my head

Happy Thanksgiving

At Into The Fire ceramic painting studio with helpful staff, Arvada

The Christmas season is here! 

Wait, it is Thanksgiving week here in the U.S. Some streets are already decorated with Christmas lights. I am not ready yet. 

"Can we put the Christmas tree up?"

"Not yet. Let's wait until this weekend," I told my daughter.

We have a small foil tree that literally takes only five minutes to put up and decorate, ready with its light and all. Anyway, it does not matter. It is too early to put a tree up.

I feel hurried. 

Can I take the time to be thankful first?

Of course, I can. It is the Thanksgiving week, anyway . .  .It will be Thanksgiving Thursday before the Black Friday Christmas shopping event. 

Moving on, I am thankful for:

1. The freedom I get to enjoy in America. "God Bless America, my home sweet home."
2. The approaching year to give me a chance to start anew. I want to be more productive. I already started a new planner, ditching an old one, and using two guidebooks for gratitude. I am excited about 2018.
3. Teens staying home and being good. 
4. Look at me painting ceramics with my daughter.
5. Food on the table; most I got on sale. 
6. Early turkey and ham? Oh, yeah!
7. A stable job.
8. Financial room to increase my retirement savings contribution by one percent. Baby steps!
9. A little pampering I get to enjoy with my daughter, relaxing yoga, for 10-11 dollars per class in one of the top 5 yoga studio in my area. That's a good deal!
10. The weekly (or twice weekly) acupuncture continues to benefit me medically, and my insurance reimburses me for it. 

That is it for now. I may not have ten pictures this week but I am indeed thankful.

Have a good week. 

Smile!

Join us! 

Times of Gratitude

It has been a good week, not perfect but good. Hey, I'm here and have the energy and time to post. My theme this week is -- you guessed it. Time!

This week I went to a co-worker's retirement party and enjoyed some nursing cake too. Levell retired after serving the hospital as a nurse for over 30 years. We met at the brewery and the place was packed with mostly her friends and coworkers. I kissed her goodbye and she had this tears of joy and maybe sadness as well that she is leaving. God bless her.

A walk in the park around the lake is great with dog Velvet and best when my daughter tags along too even though she stays on the concrete with her skateboard. Going back, she offered to hold V's leash. Velvet ran pulling her. It was funny to look at. Velvet seemed to really like pulling my daughter like pulling a kid on a sled. We had a great time.

I finally tried acupuncture that I had been dreading to do to alleviate some aches, anxiety, stress, and overactive bladder. My daughter tried it too and she took that picture with the paper-fan decor on the wall. She is still afraid of needles and has not tried the therapy again. I, however, like it and already had my session for the fourth time. My symptoms are fading. I also checked my tongue just now and the teeth marks on the sides disappeared which suggests I do not grind my teeth in my sleep anymore.

It is colder now, so my vegetables outside are dying except for the kale. My daughter took some potted vegetable plants indoors. Look at this pepper plant surviving.

I donated one hour of my vacation time to charity being run at work and they gave me a color-changing cube alarm clock in return. I love it. The color-changing is supposed to help boost mood.

I thank the daylight savings time today for the extra hour of sleep. Fall back!

My favorite chocolate is on sale!

I recently refinanced my home and replaced my 11-year old gas-hustling van with a new economy car Jetta. My daughter is posing  ala-The-Price-is-Right model. 

I thank my dogs for forcing encouraging me to walk. Look at Snowball waiting at the front door. How could I not make time?

Post and read more about gratitude 

with the Ttot group!

The Quality of Life

At work, we talk about this often—quality of life. What is the quality of life? It varies from person to person, where we are at right now, where we have been, what we've been through.

To me, life is good, when I see my children smiling when they are successful in school or at work, and eventually when they become self-sufficient. It can be most of the parents' dream. Quality of life is good enough for me if I am free of life-changing illness that prevents me from providing for my family, free of severe pain, free of severe anxiety. I had been there and can't imagine going back.

At work, in intensive care unit, many families and patients face the situation of whether to go on and on with aggressive medical treatment. What is the best possible scenario? How much suffering does it take to have a chance of 5 percent or so in life and live with, maybe breathing through a tracheostomy, feeding through a tube, not being able to walk again, and be bedridden? Often times, the patients are too sick to decide so families decide. Sometimes the patient has a living will, a health-directive set up ahead of time. Sometimes, the family changes this, which they can do.

What is the quality of life for someone who cannot speak?

Do Without Complaining

Can we go for a walk now?

I complain that my teens are messy in their rooms, that they don't help enough around the house . . . that . . .

Wait, two years ago, they were not even in the house. They ran away many times, etc.

I can clean up their rooms, do most of the tasks. The true peace in my heart is knowing where they are, hearing their voices, watching them eat, hearing their stories. . .

I am not going to allow complaints to invade my day. I close the door on it. There is no room for it in my heart.

Today, I will go to work thinking about what I can do to help my patients and their families. I will listen to their complaints with an open mind and help them.

It's gonna be a cold day. But for now, I have to tend to my dogs before I leave the house. They are watching me now craving for attention.

Philippians 2:14
"Do all things without complaining and disputing."

October Gratitude

Hello, hello. I have not posted anything or read my blog for three months. I just found out tonight than my paid domain has been deleted. *gasp* I am still here though, back with my old Blogspot name.

However busy I had been, in the back of my mind, I kept thinking I have to post my gratitude. I owe it to you to share my good news. Life is not always bad. I don't want to write just when I have something to complain about. But forgive me, I have to get this one thing out of the way. I was pretty bombed that someone really closed to me would say hurtful things about me when she thought she has hung up the phone after leaving me a voicemail. She was talking to someone else and her words HURT.

Today, after church, my daughter and I went to a store. She is picking up a dress for senior picture taking (fun) and it was taking a long time. So I went to the book section and got a book by John Hagee--Daily Truth, a daily devotional book. For today, he wrote that many times people attack...others deflecting their own shortcomings . . . shine the spotlight on  your [my] mistakes..." He added, "Rather than fretting, focus . . . fully expect.. the blessings of heaven . . . "

I found ten pictures above I am thankful for. I thank God for:

1. My personal clown, Paul, for putting laughter in my life, Halloween or not.
2. Funny friends who can also be clowns.
3. Yummy Halloween cookies and fun decors.
4. Velvet, who can put a serious picture on her face while playing.
5. Velvet, who makes my loyal walking companion, unlike Paul.
6. Props from Facebook. Who needs to buy expensive Halloween costumes when they are virtual props for free?
7. Old pictures from 7 years ago of my kids and their friend, one day in October. Aren't they're cute with their arm tattoos?
8.  Many days of warm-enough day to walk with my dogs.
9. A reminder that my kids (now teens) were very helpful raking leaves eight years ago in Fall. 
10. My health that I have the strength to rake the leaves, walk the dogs, and go to a Halloween party (and be a dark Morticia for a night). I really tried to look white like Morticia but I am not good at this at this makeup thing.

***

A schoolmate of mine passed away recently. She was 47, still young, but had chronic illnesses. I pray for her soul and her family. At the same time, I have so much gratitude I still have my health. I will never take that for granted.

***

I am so excited to hear from you and read your blogs. Thank you all!

Forcing Myself to Express Gratitude

Hello. Hello. Here I am again this week. Back with a thankful post, I did not feel like writing.

My oldest child (18) surprised me with an old car he bought a few days ago--a Dodge Stratus 2003, sedan, with a sportsy look. Never mind the paint that needs to be redone. That is just cosmetics. But the windshield has cracks in two spots. In addition, the front tires are bald, and the first time he introduced it to me, it did not even start.

"Oh, I must have left a light on."

Maybe.

The car is operable again but I am still nervous. He was supposed to work today at 4 pm, I thought. At 3:45 pm, I got hold of him. He was about to drive from a park to home. He said he'd go home to change his shoes before work. Half an hour later, I could not concentrate. My head is hurting and I was almost certain he got into some kind of trouble.

He came home for a couple minutes. He seemed OK. He works at 4:30 pm, he said. I wished he would have told me earlier.

Communication. We need to talk more.

I told him about the dangers of driving with two front bald tires for the minute I had with him before he left for work. He was already late anyway. His work was ten minutes away.

Anyway, for my sake, I should avoid thinking negatively automatically. He was not answering the phone earlier because he was driving. He knows he is not supposed to use the phone while driving, maybe, just like I told him.

What should I be doing? Be thankful. Think positive.

I took this week off. I planned this ahead as, during summer, my hospital unit is slow. So I am thankful I can do some fun things I enjoy like watching my dogs get silly and jealous with each other as my daughter pet each one.

I decided to declutter my home so I can actually see and use the things I want to use. Plus, I boxed several things for donation. My kids let go of their bikes as well that they have not touched for more than a year, so more room in the garage for my son's (very old) new car.

My daughter and I did some gardening. I have a small backyard that my three dogs use as a toilet so no more vegetable gardening there. I cheated and bought a tomato, squash, peppers, rosemary, and basil already in pots, some already with flowers. My daughter likes planting the flowering perennials so I let her do that.

I earned an Amazon card for participating in healthy activities at work so I used it to but a small electric mower. I have a small lawn and only a manual mower, but boy, the electric made the job a breeze. Oh, that reminds me, I am donating my old mower as well. That may have been easy pushing a manual mower ten years ago, but not anymore.

We had a good time watching Paul's son play high school basketball this summer. I still want to complain, though, about the entrance fee of $8 per person for adults. This is high school, geez.

Isn't Velvet, my brown dog so cute? Who said Pitbull (mix) dogs are fierce?

I am thankful for Blue Apron meals my aunt let me try for free. I have made gourmet-hotel-good home cooked meals because of the service.

Okay now, the sky is dark, and it might rain. I am worried about my son again driving his car with bald tires. Soon, I hope, he'd change them.

Do yourself a favor and express your gratitude with this fun team.

Amazon Fresh Review

Join us in ABC Wednesday in its new home.

The letter of the week from ABC Wednesday is the letter A. For the lack of ideas, I am writing about the new (to me) grocery delivery service through  Amazon called Amazon Fresh. I promise I am not getting paid by Amazon for writing this post.

How timely is that that I have just received my first grocery today with Amazon Fresh. What did I order? See the picture below including five grocery items not included.

Here is a review based on my first try with Amazon Fresh Grocery Delivery by Amazon in Denver, Colorado.

Pros:

1. One advantage of using the service is the convenience. I ordered online without having to walk the isles of the store and standing in line waiting for the cashier. The groceries are delivered right to my front door--kinda like the Uber or Lyft for my groceries. This service can attract home-bound adults, busy folks, or some people with transportation issues, like, maybe college students who do not have a car. I am thinking I can do this to friends who are sick or old who may have trouble getting to and from the store.
2. They have enough choices of brands to choose from.
3. I can choose to shop local from the "local" tab. This is especially useful for me when shopping for produce as I like being able to eat locally grown foods when I can if the price is right.
4. I don't have to live with the guilt of not tipping. Compared to Instacart app, another service I used in the past (with buttons for 10-20% tips), there is no tipping option when you finalize and pay for your order. I really don't have much room for tipping in my budget in addition to member fee.
5. It has a sales tab where I can buy the deals for the day. This makes their food more affordable to me.
6. The groceries are well-packed and came in great condition. The frozen foods remained frozen and the refrigerated items stayed cold. Frozen spinach frozen? Check. Juice cold? Check.

Cons:

1. I have to choose thru delivery time that does not necessarily fall the same day I ordered. I had to schedule for the next day six to eight a.m. My first choice was 6-8 pm the same day I ordered. I am hoping this will improve when the service gets more popular in my area and they hire more helpers to deliver.
2. If I choose to extend my service for another month after the trial, I have to pay $14.99 a month for membership. Also, if the total of my order is less than $40, I get charged the delivery fee of $9.99. Keep in mind, the service is for Prime members that I already pay an annual fee for. Anyway, I love Prime and use it more than once a month so I cannot complain about that.
3. The groceries are well-packed with one-way packaging, alright, but maybe with too much packaging. I think some items can be combined in one bag, for example. Imagine, each bag is paper-bagged, metallic-insulated bagged, masked-taped, cardboard-lined, and packed with ice packs or with additional dry ice. I am not sure if the metallic insulated bags are recyclable in my area here in Colorado. I am guessing not. And, I can only use so much ice packs. Perhaps my donation station would take them. 

Conclusion: So after all these cons, would I buy from Amazon Fresh again? You betcha. The pros still outnumber the cons. I am sure I'd use the service for a month during the free trial. After that, maybe so. I already just ordered the Amazon Dash Wand that goes with Fresh so I can scan items at home that I want to buy again or vocalize my order through the wand that automatically lists to the virtual Amazon cart. It costs $20 and I heard that I will get $30 credit for it. Plus it comes with Alexa (another "a").

What did I do with the extra time instead of grocery shopping today?  I went to a nursery instead to get the plants below--annuals, perennials, ground cover plants, aloe vera, rosemary, lavender, squash, bell peppers, and hot peppers! I love the extra free time!

Nurse Carlos and Mrs. P

I am joining Six Sentence Stories for the first time. The prompt word is skip. I just realize it is more challenging to write a story in only six sentences. For my son, who would type 1.5 pages out of required 2 for a high school assignment, this would have been a breeze. :)

Anyway, I am writing another story of a fictional character, Carlos, RN. My first one is here.  With similarities to my experience with patients, this stories will give you a glimpse of what a shift in intensive care unit looks like. It is gross a lot of times, and not for the squeamish. I apologize.

It is another day. I am once again assigned to Mrs. P who had bleeding on two areas in her esophagus. The areas where embolized yesterday, and she has been stable ever since. She did not throw up any more blood. There is no need to keep her intubated.

We were about to extubate her (remove breathing tube and take off ventilator support)  when bright red blood started coming out of her mouth like water from a hose. 

F! I almost said the word but I just thought it in my mind. 

Immediately, I got her head to the side so she does not aspirate any of it. I  suctioned her mouth with a Yankeur. It is like one of those aspirators they use in the dental office.

We are skipping extubation this morning for sure.

Hours later, after more blood transfusions I rapidly administered, and another endoscopy and interventional-radiology-guided procedures, more spots of her esophagus are coiled and embolized to stop her bleeding.  

Poor Mrs. P. I am sure when she finally fully recovers, she will never take mega home doses of Advil ever again.


I keep her calm and sedated. I hope she stays stable. At least, she made it through my shift without any more blood gushing out of her mouth . .  . yet.

The Great Outdoors

What am I thankful for?

There are many as before

As I head out my door

I had a chance to explore

I hiked with my nurse friends

It was a great time to spend

Just talking and walking

I did not want it to end

Oh, and last fourth of July

I hung out with my guy

We just looked up in the sky

Watching a show of fireworks up high

And then my last day in Cali

That I spent with my family

Walking by the beach merrily

And dipping in the pool lazily

Nurse Carlos

festival

together

wore

only

poems 

fruit

walked

favorite

wine

listened

before

shades 

I am joining Sunday Whirligig today, using the some of the word prompts assigned. I am writing a short story inspired by my experience as a nurse. This is my first try.

It's been slow in intensive care unit this week but not today. It is Thursday. I knew it even before hitting my floor as the employee parking lot is almost full.

"Carlos, I am giving you this patient with GI bleed (gastrointestinal bleed).

Immediately, I admitted Mrs. P from the emergency department (ED) to an ICU (intensive care unit) bed. Her blood count is normal but per her report, she started throwing up blood several times since she took 600 mg of Advil six times in a day four days ago for left arm pain.

From the ED, she received liters of normal saline through her intervenous access (IV) and the first blood just got started.

The GI lab nurse called me. "Can we come up at 11 to start setting  up for endoscopy in the (ICU) room."

"You can come up now." It was 10:30 am.

"But we don't want to get in the way of your admission."

Admitting a patient takes time. We have to take history, ask pages and pages of questions,  enter the data in the system, assess the patient, et ce te ra.

"That is OK. Patient's needs come first." She is not critical but I thought, heck, the GI team is ready. I would take them when I can.

Mrs. P  started as stable to very unstable before our eyes.

Two hours of long endoscopy, and more administration of liters of saline and units of blood, the team gave up as they could not see the source of bleed. They were suctioning blood, alright, but the exact source could not be scoped. Her blood pressure stayed low. She required intubation. We are going to the interventional radiology (IR) to look for the bleeding source.

I left her there with respiratory therapist and the whole interventional radiology team. It is now 4:30 pm. Starving, I  walk back to my unit. I can finally take my overdue break.

The nurse's lounge has Panera cookies and fresh fruit bouquet waiting just for me. OK, they are not just for me but they look great.

It is late. This is more like supper. My arms and legs feel weak.

I had great desserts to end my break with pork chops I brought from home.

Shortly, the IR team comes wheeling Mrs. P back to ICU. They found two small arteries in her esophagus that needed to be embolized. They fixed them and she is now stable.

My charge nurse reported that Mrs. P's ex-husband called during my break and complained to her that I did not call back to give an update. Apparently, he brought her to the ED, and he wants to be called at home for an update.

"He called? I did not get the message and Mrs. P said (when she was still able to talk) that her son is her only main contact. The residents have phoned this son  about the recent events."

Soon, her son came and visited just in time for the good news. He knew up to the point that his mother was brought to the IR but that was all.

I am sorry my patient's ex-husband was not notified but Mrs. P is doing better now. It must be stressful waiting at home wondering what is happening. I cannot help but wonder, though, what is he doing at home?

 Back in the room,  Mrs. P's son expressed a lot of gratitude to me and the team. This is the picture I want to take home.

 It feels great to go home and know that my patient is finally stable (for now). I hit my goal for my shift. Tonight, I don't have to drink my favorite wine.

Zippy

Meet my hiking partner, Velvet, in this zestful open space.

The letter of the week from ABC Wednesday is the letter Z.

I choose the word zippy.


I belong to a Facebook group on body transformation where each member defines his or own transformation. Whether the goal is to lose weight, shape your body, add bulk, etc, we all want to work on our goals with eating and exercise.

We talk about, among other things, what gives us energy or motivation to exercise and go to the gym.

What makes me zippy and energetic? I tell them my secrets of having the energy to exercise or workout.

1. A breakfast with 20 or more grams of protein makes a difference. It gives me this satisfied feeling and not feel hungry for hours. When I go to the gym, I do not think about hunger or food because I am not hungry. How do I get 20+ grams of protein? I cheat by adding protein powder to my green smoothie. I eat yogurt or eggs or ham in the morning.
2. I drink lots of water. By the time I hit the door leaving the house to go to the gym, I would already drink 4 cups of water and then two more in the gym. I am well hydrated. In the past, before I get conscious about my water intake, I get so thirsty and get a headache while exercising. I reach my maximum heart rate according to my age within minutes of walking in the treadmill. I think I was dehydrated, that was why. In 15 minutes, I was so tired and could barely continue.
3. Caffeine also keeps me going. I feel a bit hyper after 1 cup of coffee and 2 cups of matcha tea. I pour this energy in cardio and weight machines. It works. It extends my stamina. No need for me to use expensive pre-workout out supplements.
4. Meditation and yoga, I think, helps my mind and helps me to think about positive things too so my mind does not wander too much and I could concentrate on what I want to do--exercise, read, or work.
5. My dog Velvet, keeps me going as we walk outside. She is so fun to be with on a hike. To see her happy motivates me to go further.
6. A good quality sleep. To me, it can be anywhere from six to nine hours with a good amount of deep sleep. I use my Fitbit blaze to track my sleep and I notice, the more I spend time in deep sleep, the better I feel throughout the day.

How about you? What gives you energy? How do you motivate yourself to move?

Family Time in California

1. We flew to and drive through California to visit my teens' relatives from both sides. We met at like the In N' Out burger with its fresh burger and fries. It is a joint we don't have in Colorado and one that my young nephews and niece like. I also saw my cousin who just arrived from the Philippines with her new husband.
2. For my hyperactive son, we went to John's arcade with all-you-can-eat pizza, salad, and dessert. He spent a good two hours playing football and basketball there. He had a great upper body workout for two hours. My sister and I hit the food bar of course. I also went for a virtual ride with my daughter a couple of times with its moving seat and fan going and played bowling with one of my nephews.
3. I get to pick calamansi fruits in my sister's backyard in Bakersfield. It is a citrus fruit sweeter than lemon that is common in the Philippines. I also enjoyed the early morning walk with her in their quiet neighborhood. There was nobody walking outside but us.
4. I posed with my former roommate in her restaurant. She is wearing the orange top. She has a Filipino restaurant and gave us a big treat with her very good food just as we ordered. She never lets me pay though.
5. As if the Filipino lunch was not enough that day, we had dinner in another Filipino restaurant to meet more relatives. My teens spend time with their older step twin-sisters. It has been three years since their last meeting. My son ordered the same thing in this restaurant--Kare-kare (peanut based beef stew). I guess he did it to compare. He liked them both.
6. While in Northern Cali, we stayed in an inn half a block from the beach. It was cold but it still makes a nice view from our room window. I liked the sea breeze smell.
7. We also met up with their cousins, grandmother, and father. We ate together and the boys bonded while playing basketball in the rec center. Of course, we had Filipino food--Dinuguan (chocolate meat) with steamed rice. Their grandma brought it to share. She does not drive and took the bus herself to meet up at a relative's house. She got there before we did. She is so sweet.
8. I am so thankful that their dad showed up sober, unlike the last time. I am very happy for my kids that they get to see their dad like this.
9. I get to spend time with my aunt who has chronic renal failure. Although I did not like to see her so thin I am glad to see her and get to talk to her.\
10. My son did not wander this trip unlike three years ago. Never did I spend time calling him or tracking him with his phone wondering where he was. I like him better 18 than 15! Look at him even stopping to eat so I could take a picture. The bowl in front of him is his favorite Kare-kare, of course.

I felt bad my kids did not see their one aunt and two cousins. They were not available 3 years ago as well because of her work. It has been 10 years since my kids saw them. 

I am still thankful we saw the rest of the relatives we expected to see. 

I thought a month notice was good enough and being told (us) that they could not make it the day before we meet because of a week-long viewing does not make a 100% sense to me. 

Anyway, I use this moment to reflect on myself and teach my teens that it is a great importance to spend time with our loved ones while we are alive. Time is precious. And no matter what, we should try to make the most of what we have and show our love. 

To the friends and family who made time to see us, I truly appreciate them.