Bye 2021, Let Us Do Better 2022
I have been meaning to write, but the energy I am lacking--for during my days off work, all I want to do is throw my body on the couch and stay there for hours, often sleeping overnight there too. It is hard to get myself to climb the stairs to the cozier bed. I kept waking up to toss and turn, thinking I should be on my feet, maybe to go upstairs in the bedroom, or to the kitchen to do the dishes, or do laundry, or sort the mail--to lessen the clutter in the house. Even the indoor plants are now showing signs of neglect from me. The leaves look brownish and hang down low, almost like the plants outside the house in this winter season--brittle and dry. I thank my supportive partner in life, my supportive husband who literally picks up the slack and keeps our living space a home.
I thank my family, my grandkids especially. I smile as I watch them enjoying some simple things in life. They can keep themselves occupied with child's play from the discounted Christmas party games I bought when we celebrated the day after Xmas. (I worked Xmas, New Year, and the eves before). Aren't after-season sales great? We got "Pin the Snowman carrot nose," and a "Snowball-dart" board. Josiah, my 2-year old grandson, jumps for joy every time he throws the gel ball in the bull's eye target.
At work, I feel grateful for the core staff who choose to stay and work with the teams in the hospital. We are the minority while most staff are traveling professionals (nurses and respiratory therapists). I feel grateful for the staff who maintains their calm. It is hard to keep our heads up high and smile beneath our personal protective equipment.
We lost many patients, and two in my family within a month. My patience and resiliency are being stretched to the limits. How much more can I endure? My compassion is wearing thin and I have to remind myself, I am still lucky that I have the knowledge, resources, and support to do what is right most of the time. I am grateful for all those blessings.